This is how I drive my girlfriend crazy

Convo between the Lady and I. Proceed at your own risk. There are bad words.

Girlfriend
I dunno..the watch is not that sexy

ME
But /it’s a watch /it tells time

Girlfriend
but really..what I THINK doesn’t matter /if you like it, then get it!

ME
This is true. /For all things. /I like dinosaurs /You like unicorns /I like NICE houses. /You don’t. /Heard anything from those people?

Girlfriend
SEEE!!!! /those little stabs /why? /seriously?

ME
What? /I was kidding… /sheesh. /WE were kidding!

Girlfriend
again…there you go, with you’re “Im kidding” when you really mean something /your*

ME
Gah… /W/EVS, dude

Girlfriend
you know that is a senstive subject right now..so why do keep beating a dead horse dude? /you*

ME
Well… /I have to be honest with you /Can I be honest? /HELLO?

Girlfriend
yes, be honest

ME
When I was a little boy /my grandfather would take me to his cousin’s farm. /And this guy, he raised cocks. /He would stroke and feed the cocks till they were big and strong. /And then he would fight those cocks for money. /And those cocks would fight for their lives and they had metallic claws to make the battles even more epic /I was surrounded by cocks early on Saturday mornings often because my dad would leave me with my grandfather while he worked. /But, in the adjacent farm, there was a horse, tied to a pole. /And no one ever let me ride that fucking horse. /So now that I’m a grown up and I can do whatever I want? /I beat all horses to death. /OK? /And I never want to talk about this again. /Do you understand me, god damn it?

Girlfriend
he would stroke his cocks eh?

ME
Yep /He would pet the cocks /Stop bringing it up, please.

Girlfriend
haha /oh no…I will continue to bring it up /so you know how it feels

ME
Please stop. I only wanted to ride the pony.