3/1/21

I spent
like 15 minutes
ambling through the house
stepping on Lego
going through each room
three hundred
twenty six
times
looking
and anyone watching me
as I did this
at my lowest unspeed
through the windows
or the Alexa
or the wifi cameras
could be forgiven
for thinking
I was looking for brains
instead of 
my sunglasses.

2/27/21 + 2/28/21

Post Malone remixed
Only Wanna Be With You
who asked for this
it was fine in 1992
I'm in a
get off my lawn
mood
finna
get to my bed
soon
on a come down
3 win pubg duos.
I guess I can't really rap
to this brillion.drowsy
but it's a fine lullabye
Bye.

- this was written at 2:04am 
on Sunday - 2/28/21 
but that's Saturday night for me

Post midnight is night
not morning
not until the light kisses
and a cock a doodle doo
blesses that orangey red dawn
into rising
if you're making love in that dark
it's good night baby
and if there's light out
it's a hunt
for waffles or pancakes
dark to night
and bright to light
and the dew on the trees
and sidewalks
flies into the sun
shimmery translucent vampires.

2/26/21

Tonight
I'm not feeling this
and 3 words sounds about right.
Watched Hot Ones with Kennan Thompson
and it just made me feel old
had a discussion last night
with my friend
that really made me feel
like we are old
and the world is starting
to move on from us
because he was complaining
about safe spaces
the way MY old people
probably complained
about compact discs.

2/22/21

Three words a night is what I'm supposed to do. 
I should just leave it there. 
I had a day off work today 
and it was nice 
to completely disconnect. 
Girlfriend came to me 
with a problem 
that should've been dealt with 
by the contractor 
so I printed spec sheets 
and said 
here you go, figure it out. 
People get mad 
when I do things my way 
then they get mad 
when I say ok 
do it your way. 
Then they say 
oh it's the way 
you said it. 
Fuck off, 
you're in charge now. 
I'll be back 
in a few 
to criticize you for it.

2/17/21

It was a good day
in that it went quick
and there was much clicking on things 
and talking to people. 
A friend called at the end 
of the day and was sad about his father
who'd run out of coverage
for a nurse to help clean him daily.
My friend started with
"Well, I need a shower."
but he's one of those
who calls and then has to go.
So he did.

So I started my walk
and called my dad
who relayed his statement to his oncologist
that he's not doing bad
but he's not doing good
and the doctor said the right things
they are trying
and hoping.

If the doc was in office
it'd be thoughts and prayers
prolly.

My dad said he'd leave a note
on the table if he died
but that he wasn't planning to do so
until he won the Lotto
because he'd played it 
since the day it started
the same numbers
and those millions were his.
He laughed
like he did the day before
when I told him to tell the doctor
that he should be feeling like 80
but felt like 90.

I would've slumped and cried
against that tree
but for the two dudes pointing
at a house and 
I think they were discussing
the landscape
and they parted like that 
red fucking sea
giving me my 6 feet
letting the walk continue.
What do I say to my dad
but yeah
and when he says I love you my son
in English
all I can think is please
not tonight
not tonight.

2/16/21

I thought I’d lost
the notebook I’m writing in
maybe at the cancer center
when I took my girlfriend.
I was like, what
would these people
trying not to die
think about my notes on DNS
or the shitty Batman doodles?
Huge relief
when I found the notebook
in the car’s center console
but I thought maybe
I should lose something again
someday.