I was watching the Wrexham soccer team documentary and all of a sudden the episode turned into a thing about fathers and sons. They played Ben E. King's "Stand By Me" and, you know, it's a song about how you can make it through an apocalypse if you have the people you really love by you. We'd been eating dinner. I had a french fry in some ketchup and it just stayed there and my son reached across the couch and pat my leg, knowing I was thinking of my dad. 

When the episode was over, I went for a bath. Christina filled the tub for me while Jack and I cleaned up. Jack asked if he could hang out with me in the bathroom, strangely. I get in the tub and it is cold and I say so. Jack says she does that sometimes and that's why he tends to want to fill the tub himself, but hey, she wanted to do something nice for me. He was like making sure I didn't turn into a prick about it. He asks if he can turn off the lights and get the Alexa to play some music. When it's his turn to pick a song, he chooses Starman by David Bowie and then Hurt by Nine Inch Nails. He sings, off key, when he knows the words to some of the songs and it's horrible and lovely all at the same time. It's one of the nicest times I've ever had with him. And all by himself, at some point, he says, I'm tired and I'm gonna go to bed.

I swear some future version of my son possessed his younger self to give me some comfort tonight.
Thank you.

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