My father’s marrow killed him or the chemo did or the stroke or the hospital or me when I said Yes let’s make him comfortable.
Category Archives: Uncategorized
08-17-21
Tonight I drink whisky a friend sent and take apart my son’s lightsaber. Christina paints the kitchen. A document to authorize a real estate agent to sell my childhood home hits the inbox.
08-15-21
I finally got to my drafting table to clean up the bag of things I chose to bring from my father’s house after he died. I found what I’m certain is a receipt from the sort of side hustle lotteries Latinos run alongside the real lottery and it had sevens everywhere and he played it …
06-27-21
I took my dad’s big red truck to get looked at by my mechanic uncle in Hollywood. Florida. The last time I followed my dad driving it he’d been in the hospital a couple days. He barely stayed at night in his lane on I95 and I got the expected visions of a wrecked truck …
06-23-21
Last weekend I found what seems to be a poem in the nightstand in the duplex my father stopped sleeping in a while back. Blue ink in Spanish cursive on both brown yellow sides the blue lines faded. I don’t know if he wrote it and I don’t really understand it as I transcribe afraid …
06-19-21
Had to dothe weed eatingin the backyardlike Homer Simpson does itlike a fool cutting circlesin the grassand I am shaking. The sedentary lifestyle’s hello. Got greenin my dress socked sneakersand I wonder is this what Poison Ivy’s pussysmells likeand I’m only 2/3doneshakinshakin.
06-11-21
Southwest 8th Street and 40 Somethingth I write this almost a month later. Everyone is saying take your time. How can anyone do that as they walk intentionally toward a motherfucking land mine of tears. The night before, we had visitors in the room late Ismelia talking over my answers to her questions repeating how …
06-06-21
It’s a bit strange and sad how easy it is for me to put the death of my father in a box in a far away part of my mind. The ease with which I can speed myself there to look at any of the many items in the box and be instantly broken makes …
05-30-21
It hurts so much to look back and wonder if I shouldn’t have waited just a little bit more before telling them yes please make him more comfortable. All I can hear is go ahead and finish him off.
05-19-21
How He Felt So I don’t forget his hands were brown spotted with the years but smooth warm at first from the fever and cooler as the day went. The skin thin on the arm it crinkled like aluminum foil. The arm hairs short. His forehead felt dry ashy but his hair was cool thin …