vaderonice

Sometimes I wish
when this crazy bitch said
"Please stop talking to me
I just want to end this conversation"
she actually meant it
instead of me realizing
oh shit
here comes another
chemo fueled batshit crazy argument
where she takes everything driving her mad
and shits it all over me
via her pie hole.

Welp.
I've kinda kicked the streak
in the nuts at this point.
I'll blame it on construction
the lady's chemo
and late nights
trying to choke
the ever loving
shit
out of insomnia lately.
Cheers.

I thought maybe
the vaccine would be
having its way with me today
but no
it's just my fault
I'm still writing
not so great poems.

But.
Today my kid said
he figured he was so comfortable
taking his writing exam
because all the time he spends
writing up dossiers
on horror game characters
(instead of paying attention to class)
transferred, skill-wise
to his writing exam efforts.

I told him I was so proud
and I fucking loved him
and he told me
he fucking loved me too.

And that's
all I can fucking ask for.

Got my second
COVID shot today
and the girl who checked me in
said she loved my shirt
but then she asked me what it even meant
and I wondered if
she was just checking me out.

On my morning walk
a little cloud of dragonflies
followed me for a bit.
It was cool.

It's that day
don't believe anything.
Except one time
a girl I really cared for
I wish she'd told me she loved me
on April Fool's
because fuck it
what's a fool if not
the best kind of dreamer.

My aunt at the Best Buy
calling asking me what she should buy
not knowing what's even wrong.
It's like she knew
I had the day off
and might actually pull off
a nap
in the middle of the day.
Can you imagine?
Sleeping soundly
in the middle of the day
while the construction people
clip and chip
at old tiles
that drag and clank.
I almost spent
the whole day in sandals.
Fuck.

I am a cautious person
even in videogames.
god forbid
I alert this troll
to my presence
causing him
to smash me
against the rocks
so I respawn
a five minute walk away.
I might have to put on some music
and the autorun
and find my corpse
to retrieve all my stuff. 
I mean,
I have a really good axe,
you know?

Imagine my surprise
when I realized
I was shaking my head 
at the 800
burnout circles in the intersection.
Is this me getting old?

Sitting out front 
to the side of the garage door
with no shirt on
in the dirty yellow light
of the little lamp 
by the front door
I wonder why I thought
it was such a great idea
to whistle back and forth 
out of breath
with an eager mockingbird
I saw eating red berries
from the palms
while I moved tiles
from the garage to the addition. 


The bird is stuck
now
in the rafters 
and the internet
said the solution involves
patience
leaving the room
and illuminating the exit. 


I know how this bird
must feel
poor bastard.