My aunt at the Best Buy calling asking me what she should buy not knowing what's even wrong. It's like she knew I had the day off and might actually pull off a nap in the middle of the day. Can you imagine? Sleeping soundly in the middle of the day while the construction people clip and chip at old tiles that drag and clank. I almost spent the whole day in sandals. Fuck.
I am a cautious person even in videogames. god forbid I alert this troll to my presence causing him to smash me against the rocks so I respawn a five minute walk away. I might have to put on some music and the autorun and find my corpse to retrieve all my stuff. I mean, I have a really good axe, you know?
Imagine my surprise when I realized I was shaking my head at the 800 burnout circles in the intersection. Is this me getting old?
Sitting out front to the side of the garage door with no shirt on in the dirty yellow light of the little lamp by the front door I wonder why I thought it was such a great idea to whistle back and forth out of breath with an eager mockingbird I saw eating red berries from the palms while I moved tiles from the garage to the addition. The bird is stuck now in the rafters and the internet said the solution involves patience leaving the room and illuminating the exit. I know how this bird must feel poor bastard.
Another one of those Saturdays where I do just enough to trick other grownups into thinking I’m not still about 19 in the head. I did a couple dishes took out the trash gave my kid some medicine thanked him for not having a meltdown scratch that, CONGRATULATED him for the feat. Played video games till like 2am watched cartoons till 3 woke up around 10 had Dublin Donuts Oh shit it’s Sunday
There's always that one person in the drive thru on fucking social media or with the seatbelt buckle up their ass who leaves a giant gap between their car and the one in front pushing half of the last car in the line into one of the busiest street in the city. We should send these people to the island. I see he has Virginia plates and the softy in me thinks maybe in Virginia the McDonald's parking lots are massive winding roads unto their own where they give COVID vaccines while you wait for your McMuffin. Fucking Virginia...
This time of year gets me down as I mourn the inevitable death of cool days.
All caught up slipping in a couple days late and it bothers me I feel like a lie and also a fool for stressing this so much for pushing three lines way out when I need to care more about me and be like fuck it. But also tomorrow comes and it could be death and why leave nothing behind or just three lines?
Hatching How could we know what 365 days 8760 hours 525600 minutes would bring? Your mom passing I miss her "yeah"s and her "hrmmm"s the way she rolled her eyes left arm across her chest right arm up, hand like a gun at the side of her face maybe Jack got that from her. Fucking cancer your insides burning while trying to sleep through in a dark room cancer frollicking skipping through your insides have a good old time with your blown gall bladder your skin shiny and dry I wish I could have taken some of it burned in your stead. Maybe we could have bounced it back and forth like a game of hot potato. COVID. Trying not to breathe in anyone's air. Construction. Trying not to breathe in mold or roofing paper fumes paint or dust. I barely remember being able to walk in the backyard barefoot baby Jack rolling in that green green grass. But. Look at you now. You talk about getting a tattoo on your breasts a phoenix breaking the gravity of pain lifting itself despite the weight of dense flames. You do not see what I see the red hair taking root again breaking through flesh forged in fire streaking forward down every which way even from your womanhood. Your bright ocean eyes I drown in whether dry, teary, tired. Your smile punching through a blast of joy despite this year. You dragging yourself through the yard the thick barb chewing gloves the tools in the dirt shaping the world around you to your will. You are the phoenix.
One of the worst things about this pandemic is not being able to let your kid skip school and take them somewhere cool. I remember once doing this to take my son to Toys R Us but that's not around anymore and Target isn't a replacement not really. So it's like where does he get to escape to the poor guy.