Weekly writing assignment

This week’s writing thing: “It’s not my fawlt I wuz home skoold” So I have to write about this for four minutes:

This is a stupid sentence. You figure someone home schooled is going to have a parent that gives a shit and maybe has some kind of pull to get that sort of thing approved. If home schooling for stupid people was acceptable then you wouldn’t have all the kids of the parents who don’t care in schools fucking it up for all the people who actually want to get good grades because they’re competitive or their parents have taught them to care or maybe they think they have to so they can get into college.

I don’t know why I did well in school. I’m lucky. I’m glad I wasn’t home schooled. That is some shit. I was bad in kindergarten. I remember one time, I was pushing this tall skinny black kid named Donnie around the classroom in his chair. This chair had no wheels. Little metal feet on carpet. He had a little basket of tiny tiles we were using to make these sort of flat things to put hot tea or a pot on for our parents. Donnie was using these little tiles as ammunition to chuck at the other kids. At some point after that, we had to stand up on chairs holding big dictionaries over our heads. Man, my arms hurt right now from trying to dig this stupid hole for a dry well but I bet they hurt worse back then.

And for some reason, in the second grade, they decided I needed to be switched from the retard class to the honors class. My dad never helped me with homework. I didn’t have any tutors.

I don’t know how I didn’t end up shot or a bum on the dirty narrow crunchy streets of Allapattah.

Time’s up.

  • Chris Turner

    Dude, you were doing drive-by shootings in the classroom? You were, like, the gangsta of education. That Donnie guy sounds pretty tight.